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Help? (not sure how to phrase this question so please read for details)?
I've been riding this little Appaloosa pony for about 6 months now. I started out leasing her and then just switched to working in exchange for riding her. My trainer uses her for big trail rides sometimes (when she absolutely has to), but I'm usually the only one that rides her because she is a handful. But the two of us share a very special bond.
The problem is winter is coming and my trainer has tons of horses to feed as it is and the appaloosa pony isn't hers. She leases her from this other girl who doesn't even care about her (she traded her in for a faster horse) but she has to send her back because she's just one more horse she has to feed. I don't know when exactly the pony is going back, but I know it's soon.
I'm absolutely devastated. I love that pony as if she were my own and I don't think I can do anything about her leaving. Every time someone mentions her name I start crying knowing she has to go soon and remembering all the good times we had. I've done a lot with that little pony. Because her owner doesn't seem to believe in loving the horse, she was bratty and rude at first. But as we got to know each other, the pony and I really bonded and she changed completely. She turned into such a willing, wonderful pony but she's still a handful and my trainer can't make any money off of her.
I don't know what to do. I mean, my trainer has me working with another horse who is just fine and all, but I've been crying ever since she told me yesterday that the pony was going to be sent back home. How can I get over this little pony and stop crying? I can't buy her or anything (even though she is for sale) because I have my mustang and I'm leaving for school in a year. I can't possibly take two horses with me.
How can I let go of this pony? How can I stop crying and feeling so depressed whenever someone mentions her name? I really love this pony and we share a special bond. Help?
I'm going to school about 3 hours away, but I'm going to be bringing my young Mustang with me to school wherever I go. I doubt I could afford to keep both with me at school.
The horse wouldn't necessarily be ridden. Part of the reason this appy and I bonded so tightly was because I showed her love. Her owner only rides her super fast and hard and then throws her back in her stall. She doesn't really love her.
Dec.28.2009
I won’t help you to answer this question, a student best make an effort to to complete his or her school work hisorherself.
Dec.28.2009
How far does the actual owner live from where you’re going to school? Maybe you can work out some sort of deal where you can still ride the pony, if it’s within a reasonable distance from where you’ll be. Or if money isn’t an issue with buying the pony, maybe there’s a boarding stable near your school where you could keep her? Even if it was only on a lease for a while.
Dec.28.2009
I don’t really know how you can get over her as everyone has different ways of dealing with things, but i kind of have an idea. When you think of how badly you miss her and how much you want her back just think that she is at a good home( when she gets sold) and is better off there as you wouldn’t of had the time even if you were some how able to buy her. You would be too busy with school work and she would be better in a home where they have lots of time. You could also ask the owner now( the mean one) If you could get the contact info off who ever she sells her too , that way you can keep in contact with her and know how she is going. I hope i helped in some way or another
Dec.28.2009
I’m 52, and in my life many horses have passed through my life. Each one was special in his or her own way and the fact that I have memories of each means that what they were and what we did together played a part in making me what I am today as a horseman.
And if you have ambitions to make a living working with horses, or even just to have horses as one of the passions of your life and a part of what makes you who you are, you need to understand that many horses will pass through your life. Learning to let go and move on, either because you choose to or necessity forces you to, isn’t pleasant but it’s the only way most of us get to live with most of the horses we come in contact with.
When you’ve made a connection with a specific horse and the circumstances that part you from that horse aren’t of your choosing, it can be very hard. But if there’s nothing else you can do, then you have to move on. You can’t move forward by refusing to let go.
Allow yourself time to mourn the ending of your relationship with her but allow it to be an end. In time there will be other horses and other experiences, and the loss you’re feeling that seems like a gaping hole will be patched over into a memory that keeps this horse with you forever. I can remember horses I last saw or rode forty years ago. They’re still with me, still there jogging my mind about the things that made them special and memorable.
In that sense, you will never be parted from this particular pony. And in time that’s something that you will find gives you a great deal of comfort.
Dec.28.2009
With the horse market so depressed, a horse that is a “handful” will not be easy to sell. That means the owner will be stuck feeding her or sending her to auction. She may be priced a lot more reasonable than you think. Keep tabs and see what happens. This is a touchy one for you to handle to not overplay your interest.
About affording 2 at college. . . If you give up the thought of a training barn and scout around for a nice pasture with a shelter, sure you can take 2. My daughter did. It takes some driving the countryside, leaving your name and number in every rural store and feed outlet.
For what you would pay for one month to board, you could get a solar fence charger, set your own fenceline, buy a water tank, and set your horses up. It also involves making some advance contacts for a hay source and the commitment to feed and water every day. There may be a retired couple or a renter somewhere who doesn’t have need for a field and would throw them hay when you go home for holidays.
It all just takes some thought and planning. I took 2 with me when I moved across the state on a new job. I posted ads in every rural place and immediately got a call for an apartment in a house plus an available barn and fenced pasture on site.
Don’t lose hope.
Dec.28.2009
A few years ago my instructor leased a Bel/App (Monte) from a lady for winter lessons. Monte and I built up the same kind of bond, no one else could hardly ride him. Come spring he had to go back home for show season, this just about killed me. About 3 weeks before he left my coach bought an un-broke Perch/Paint (Argo). My grandparents ended up buying me Argo. Until Monte left my horse pretty much sat in the field doing nothing because 1) I had no idea how to break a horse and 2) I was still bonded with Monte. When Monte went home I shed ALOT of tears and went through tonns of boxes of tissues. One day I went out to the field and Argo came galloping towards me and I just about cried I was so happy to see that my horse loved me. I started working with my horse everyday and treating him like he was the only horse in the world that would ever be as close to me as we are now! Now we are “the closest” horse and rider pair that there is. (Personal opinion, everyone thinks that them and there horse are closer then every other horse/rider pair!!
).
Recentlly I also moved and I now have three horses. The horse are with my grandparents in Ontario and I am in North West Territories! Once again I have shed ALOT of tears and used up boxes of tissues. But to get over them I have taken up new sports (running), got a job, started doing courses for school online and volunteering within the community.
Everyday I see my horse’s pictures it kills me inside but I know that when we are apart we are closer then ever.
Just an idea, have you talked to the owner of this pony? Maybe she would let you come out on weekends and ride?
Best of luck!
Dec.28.2009
For a start think about how impractical it would be to feed a horse that cannot be afforded. Besides which, it is not yours to keep and you knew that when you started out.
Second, think about the Mustang. You would have more time and energy for training and working with him. Do not compare the two though, as no two horses are the same. Some might have the same problems etc but require different buttons to be pushed for the desired result. Challenge yourself to find these buttons.
Third, it is a fact of life that horses come and horses go, especially as you are leasing.
Fourth. Go to your doctor and ask about a course of antidepressants to see you through the first few months.
Fifth. Quit thinking that you are the only person who can ride this appy. There are other people who could do just as good a job with her as you or better! The horse’s happiness is paramount here. She will get used, exercised and fed and that is the main thing. Far better than vegetating in a field unfed and uncared for. You need to be practical about these things.
Dec.28.2009
I think that you would be fine if this horse were to go to a good owner. It always makes it easier. You probably just feel that you would be the better person for the horse and that this girl who seems to just want a horse that she can show off and brag about.